Stuck writing... any feedback?

[bghost.livejournal.com]

So, I'm writing a giftfic (that I originally intended to be quite short) which is currently standing at two and a half thousand words, and about half finished.

Normally I would ask ride_4ever for help, but she's doing the last minute work on the BB draft, to be posted later tonight.

The story I'm working on explores Fraser's relationship to the Great Lakes, including specifically 'the Lake they call Michigan.' It starts during Pizzas and Promises, with him finding Ray(V) drowned in the boot of the car, and the promise he has to make to the 'Lady of the Lake' to win back his life. So far I'm halfway through Mountie on the Bounty, and I have a question about narrative point of view (and also, what the heck have I got into here?) If there is anyone out there who likes a bit of creepiness with their dS and wants to give me some feedback, I'd be grateful.

Thank you kindly!

new dS fic: epistolary Ray/Ray roadtrip fic

[seascribe.livejournal.com]

After the RCW 139 con last week, Scribe and I went on a mini-roadtrip through Canada.  While we were travelling, we wrote some roadtrip fic about dudes named Ray.  On postcards.

Sugaring Off (Or, The 2012 Global Strategic Maple Syrup Reserve Heist Recovery Roadtrip, Starring Ray and Ray) (2080 words) by Scribe, Seascribe
Chapters: 1/1
Fandom: due South
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Relationships: Ray Kowalski/Ray Vecchio
Characters: Ray Kowalski, Ray Vecchio
Additional Tags: Epistolary, Postcards, Canada, roadtrip, Case Fic, Getting Together
Summary:

Being an account of the international pursuit and apprehension of one sticky-fingered Canadian criminal as reported in the personal correspondence of two former members of the Chicago Police Department.