new DS fic

[zelempa.livejournal.com]

Title: Upon Close Inspection
Pairing: Fraser/Kowalski
Rating: PG... or possibly G. There's swearing, that's it.
Word Count: ~12000
A/N: For Lucifuge 5, for Help Chile. Prompt: post-COTW curtain!fic.

"Can we try to be normal?" said Ray. "Just for a day. For like, two hours. I'll be Ray, and you'll be Ben, and that'll be Dief, our dog."

From the doorway, Diefenbaker whined.

Ray pointed at him. "You, suck it up. Take one for the team."

Read at my site | Read on AO3

Comments

[mysticalchild_isis]

That was delightful, sweet, funny, and generally full of awesome. ::loves::

[zelempa.livejournal.com]

thank you! :D

[malnpudl.livejournal.com]

What's the pairing?

[zelempa.livejournal.com]

sorry, F/K. tagged!

[anxiety-junkie.livejournal.com]

Lovely! Poor punch-drunk Benton. I loved his conversations with the turtle. *g*

[zelempa.livejournal.com]

Thanks! It's possible the turtle is a metaphor? But I'm not sure what it's a metaphor for. It just made me laugh. I'm glad you liked it.

[brigantine.livejournal.com]

Ah, poor Benton - reluctantly introspective, and reduced to confiding in a sympathetic turtle. Also, Oww.

Methinks Ray will be raising two kids. ;D

[zelempa.livejournal.com]

To be fair, there will be times Fraser is raising two kids. Like in the candy store.

Thanks for your fb! :D

[prudence-dearly.livejournal.com]

That was brilliant. Fraser's long struggle to figure out his feelings rings so true, and I love that he didn't have a magical "oh but kids are so great" moment to solve it all, but that he came to his realisation on his own terms. Placing all of that emotional, internal activity in parallel to both the interview and the injury, and with moments of humour as well (I love the bonding with Mike so much I can't even)... well. As I say, just brilliant.

[zelempa.livejournal.com]

Thank you! I tried not to make it too pat, but I also didn't want it to be depressing. I can kind of see Fraser going either way on the kids issue, but he'd take the decision seriously, anyway. And I have to thank my beta yolsaffbridge for telling me, for the first time ever, "MORE emotional turmoil!" :P I'm glad it all came together for you.

[thursdaynext-27.livejournal.com]

This was so sweet and adorable. I loved the ending!

[zelempa.livejournal.com]

Thank you! :)

[alex51324.livejournal.com]

Ooh, you posted! Is the turtle stuff new? I don't remember that from the draft. I did notice that you added in the neighbor-letter. **wink** Good job!

[zelempa.livejournal.com]

Yeah, the turtle stuff is a late addition. I wanted to turn some of the internal stuff into external dialogue, and I realized I had the turtle right there anyway the whole time!

It has also grown, somehow, since you saw it...

Thanks!

[dwelian.livejournal.com]

Love this! Very believable, and you had Ray and Fraser's modes of speech down perfectly!

[zelempa.livejournal.com]

Thanks! I don't know if it comes across, but the formal, Frasery way is totally the way I naturally write, and then I have to go through and casual it up for Ray. It's, uh, a lot less work in a Fraser POV story. :)

I'm glad you liked it!

[noctuabunda.livejournal.com]

"I don't see why our reasons have to be exclusively selfish."

Such a Fraser thing to say. <3
Great story! So very IC, and the humour was great, too. Also, just the right amount of sappiness. I'm in heaven. :)

[zelempa.livejournal.com]

Thanks! Heee. Glad you liked it. Love your icon :)